25
Jan

Dear Robinho,Why don’t you learn to shoot ?

Dear Robinho,

Although we are very happy and elated that you are such a turbo midfielder, always connecting plays, dazzling defenders with your dribbling and creating chances, it leaves us nothing but disgusted when you take those “shots” at goal.It’s not just that you shoot like a little girl, you usually follow it with a disgusting shit-face and the sign of a cross. Even Jesus is sick of you calling upon him so much during a game.


When we watch the videos of your tricks, dribbles your runs down the field gladden our heart, but rather than see the footage of your shooting, we ‘d gladly watch a Paris Hilton Music video (yikes) !



In fact things are so bad that we don’t trust you to score a goal even if there was an empty goal in front of you. You claimed in a previous interview that it’s not your duty to score goals, only to create them. Then dear fellow, why don’t you leave the job to Ibrahimovic and Cassano ? Why don’t you just pass the ball instead of kicking it blindly and hoping it would hit the net.


If you were scoring goal then it would be a different thing, we are even to willing to tolerate your lame pseudo samba goal celebrations.No one doubts your skills as a player or the 25 goals you scored in Madrid, however Dear Robson, you waste a lot of chances that could be better finished by Ibrahimovic or even Gattuso. So here are a few suggestions

*While you are heading out to the clubs at night, why don’t you stop by Pippo Inzaghi’s casa one day and ask him for finishing tips. Inzaghi has virtually scored with every part of his body and he’d be more than happy to give you tips.Just take a nice bottle of italian wine with you.


*Perhaps instead of spending time perfecting your goal celebrations you could spend some more time practicing your shooting at Milanello. Afterall, Man City fans just hate you. Wouldn’t you like to prove them wrong and give some killer performances ? Or would you rather go the Ronaldinho way and fade away un-noticed ?

Things are not rosy when people are more willing to bet on Seedorf having a good game than they are on you scoring a goal. If you expect generosity, kindness and loyalty from Curva sud, then Dear Robinho give thought to the things said above and don’t forget that you are playing for the Italian Supremo,He’ll have you evicted in no time if you keep wasting scoring chances like this.